Nirvana is a Sanskrit terms that means an idyllic state of ultimate calm where one is relieved of any stress or suffering. It the highest form of bliss in some sense.
A young mother to a toddler and Nirvana seem like parallel tracks. They can never meet!
From a laid back young woman to an even more laid back pregnant lady to this sudden state of hurried panic with a toddler- the transition is never easy for anybody I am sure!
If I get to wake up at 8am on a Saturday, I am euphoric! I equate this feeling to what a person thrusting his national flag on the peak of Everest feels. Highest achievement ever!!
But then how do you even get close to the state of Nirvana in such a hostile environment?
What if I tell you it takes just 30 seconds??
Really! It does!
I shall lead from a real example from an event that happened last Friday.
I had a kids’ party at my place where 12 kids came over to play with my 3 year old daughter, Parneet. Here is a picture of the state of the room after 3 hours of what seems like the “War of the worlds”:
Now what would your first reaction to the room be?
I of course panicked at the state of the room (I am not even showing you the rest of the house where a food fight seemed to have happened!). How will I clean It? It’s already almost midnight? Where will we sleep? Why did I call so many kids? Why did I not keep a constant eye on what the kids were doing? Stupid kids!!!!!
That’s exactly the chronology of questions that went inside my head.
But if I would react in the same state of agitation that was in my mind, I would be just getting worked up!
“How do you think momma is gonna clean all this? Is that all I am supposed to do all day? Why did you take out all the toys?”
Would this nervous breakdown be good for me or set a good example for my kid?
She would be just too scared to go wild with her friends the next time! Because all that kids want is momma to not get angry!
So what did I actually do when I saw the room?
After all the angry questions in my mind were over, I just took a deep breath. Relaxed. And told my daughter, “Lets take a selfie!!”
We posed funny with the room in the background. And laughed about it.
This not only turned my state of mind around but also gave me the clarity and calm to handle the situation.
I told my daughter that since she had played with all her toys so well, she would now put them back in their place so that they can all sleep in peace.
Of course I had to help her out but in an hour the room was looking as good as new plus my daughter learnt that she will be responsible for the well being of her toys.
A lesson in ownership and responsibility for her, a calm and happy me and a clean room! That’s as good as a state of Nirvana, believe me!
Hence to be nirvana-ma, whenever you are confronted with a state of panic- a war fought room, a slightly hurt baby in the park or a daughter with your favorite lipstick all over her face- just take a deep breath, take a break of 30 seconds, let all the negative and angry thoughts exit your mind, paste a smile on your face and then calmly think what can be done to turn the situation over!
A calm non-panicky mom will lead to a calm baby too. And actually once you take it in your stride, you will realize that you were about to get panicky about nothing! A clean room or undamaged lipstick means your kid is not having fun!!
And a calm mommy will only do the biggest service to her baby by teaching that no matter how bad you think the situation is, the best reaction is to laugh it out!
So next time your baby introduces you to another of her big “surprises”, smile and take a funny selfie!!
And in 30 seconds you shall be transformed into NIRVANA-MA.
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