There is a Syndrome that has been plaguing parents since ages. It’s true for all parents across the world and is rampant since existence of time.
Its exhibiting characteristics are so unique and yet cut across the boundaries of race, religion and culture. And it doesn’t even spare the innocent bystanders. In fact they are the ones most brutally hit!
Iam talking of The Pan-Parental Syndrome.
Yes of course it’s a term I have made up and it has no medical records. But let me explain it to you. Not only will all the Parents find that they have this Syndrome but my biggest supporters will be the single or non-parent readers!!
Anybody suffering from this Pan-Parental Syndrome will show the following symptoms:
- Tendency to show off A-Z recital skills in a 2 year old
- Interrupt your pouring-your-heart out conversations about your recent heartbreak on the phone to make you listen to what can only be heard as “coo coo ca” but insist that their daughter has spoken the first word
- Dress the kid like she is always in a Disney Princess feature film.
- Overuse of the words “satisfying job” “overwhelming experience” “wonderful moments” “true meaning of life”
- Calling the pediatric at 2am to describe the consistency of phlegm that just came out of the baby’s nose
- Bring up potty color conversation at the dinner table
- Use up all your phone memory with the overload of pictures sent on Wasapp of “Picasso level” coloring skills of their baby.
Who am I to lie? I am guilty as charged too. My single friends have been just too patient not to complain, that’s all.
And its kinda cute, most of it. Because it’s a sense of uncontrollable excitement to see something so tiny do such wondrous things for their age. Something that you created excel in their own little ways.
It’s definitely a reason to show-off.
However, be very careful to get a few moments in peace to unravel the root of these show-offs we put up.
It puts great pressure on your kid actually. Imagine the plight and fright of a 3 year old told to recite A-Z in front of an aunt they have just met. And added to it the pressure of saying it correctly coz mommy keeps correcting the poor kid till she doesn’t get it all right!
It’s the situation you would be in if your paternal great grand aunt visits(whom you have no recollection of) and your parents said, “Show aunt your salary slip. Come on, darling. Show it! Count the number of zeros for her. Go on…do it!”
So think about where and why your toddler show-off desires are stemming from.
Is it because other kids of her age know A-Z?
Is it because your guest is likely to tell all the rest of your family about how intelligent your kid is?
Is it because you have made her memorize poems meant for children much older and it will make your guest admire your kid’s (and your) skills?
Remember your kid is an artist who has been given the world canvas to paint. She is in her own world. On her own pace.
She doesn’t understand (or care) about what Jack and Jill did on a hill.
Don’t crash the perpetual party going on in her mind with your unnecessary pressure!
Let me make it easy for you.
As long as your sense of self-esteem and achievement are not entirely entwined with your kid, you are fine.
The need to show off every spoken word of our toddler comes when we rely too much on our kids to enhance our standing in society or our friends’ circle.
Of course, there is a thin line like I mentioned before. Most of the times its just excitement that you cant control about how amazed you are at how much your 3 year old can grasp and memorize. That’s absolutely fine. Your kids will always be a source of amazement and joy to you all your life.
However, when this turns into a craze its just not fair on you or your kid.
A grinding need for your child to go only to the XYZ school as it’s the best. The depression that follows if she doesn’t get through. “While my friend’s son goes to XYZ how embarrassing it will be for me to say that my daughter dint get through that’s why she goes to ABC school!!”
Keeping a track of how many extra-curicular classes other kids are attending and making sure your son is attending all those plus 3 more! Another great and pompous coffee table conversation to have with your friends, isn’t it??!!
Haunting your daughter’s playgroup teacher to ask how the silver star on her drawing can be converted to a gold star. Why she didn’t get that gold star in the first place?
“Now do you expect my FB status to read’ “My child is only above average..not excellent!!”
Don’t you see that you are just driving yourself and your child crazy along the way.
Derive your self esteem from yourself. Not your kid.
Be happy that you are a wonderful human being with certain skills and hobbies you excel in and enjoy doing.
Be proud that you are doing your best to play out the role of a mom to the best of your capabilities.
Once you are secure with yourself, no matter which school your kid goes to or what level of skills she exhibits- it will always be a reason for you to celebrate.
You wont put pressure on your kid and be content and calm in return.
Another step closer to becoming NIRVANA-MA!
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