Baby steps are so called for a reason. They imply learning skills a little bit at a time is the best way to permanently learn something.
Ironically, the skill of “baby steps” itself evades most of us. We want everything in a jiffy. We want it all. In one go!
We live in a day and age of express everything- express delivery, express coffee, express noodles. Our brain has become tuned to this express life. Nobody likes anything on “simmer” mode. From our food to our lifestyle- everything has to be fast!
At a spiritual and emotional level though, there can be nothing more detrimental than this express attitude. Everything takes time. A baby takes 9 months to be formed. If it comes out before, its life is endangered. The really good recipes cook on a simmer fire. If you want that fragrant biryani, you have to let it cook in its own juices. Increasing the heat will just burn it.
And that’s exactly what we are doing to ourselves. We are burning ourselves. And our kids in the long run.
We want to be best mothers in a go! Pop a baby and become the epitome of motherly success! That’s not how it works. You need to follow a learning curve. Your own personal learning curve. Not the curve your best friend or your sister took when they became mothers. You are you. Your baby is an individual. So obviously your learning curve will be extremely customized to both your needs. But to know what customization it want, you need to take your learning in baby steps. Give it time. Give time to yourself to become an ideal mother – for your baby. Not anybody else!
Similarly you baby will develop in time. Mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. Though the brain is an endless sponge, burdening a 5 year old with too much skills or knowledge is going to burn them out. She doesn’t need to learn everything in one go. She doesn’t need to paint and swin and skate and horseride and play guitar and ace her grades all at once.
Push a baby too much for anything and she is going to snap. Instead of sponges I think a better correlation for a brain is a rubber band. You can stretch it and stretch it to almost 10 times its length. But if you don’t know when to stop, its just going to snap and break.
The same holds true for you. There are so many natural instincts that you learn as a mother. But if you push yourself to hurry to become the best mom before you leave the hospital with your baby, you are going to be chaos. Not only will you be stressed, you will also be blocking out the voice of your natural instincts.
So next time you find yourself worrying too much about everything and feeling guilty that you are not a “good mom” (I hate that term though..there is nothing like a good mom or a bad mom…there are just moms!), take a breath, relax and learn to take baby steps!
You are going to come around, your baby is going to come around.
And when you learn to take it slow and in baby steps, the learning curve you develop will be stress free. Your skills will be permanent. And your baby will also learn to take one thing at a time.
Teaching your baby the importance of baby steps will go a long way in the marathon he has to run- called LIFE.