I am a fan of Einstein’s Theory of Relativity. It not only changed and bettered our understanding of the universe, the story behind how the theory was conceptualized and calculated has a lot of romance in it too.
It however has a philosophical angle too. It taught us that Newton’s laws of motion are not wrong. They just change when we talk of objects moving at very high speeds. For objects we see in everday life like cars, supercars and even airplanes- Newton’s laws of motions hold true. But when we talk of planets which are moving at almost the speed of light, these laws of motions dont hold true. For them, the theory of relativity needs to be applied.
The philosophical angle here means that nothing is universal. Everything is relative to your situation. If we extrapolate this angle to our relations, you will see and appreciate my point better.
One of the biggest stress points for moms is social media. When we see our single friends galloping the globe we sigh and wonder! When we see our married friends with no kids posting pictures at the latest bar, we again sigh and wonder. When we see happy pics of our friends smooching their hubby we sigh and wonder…yet again!
Its natural, dont worry. Even i get wound up too tight sometimes. We all compare our present situation to others.
But why do we want to be part of somebody else’s relation? There are two dangers here-
a) we really dont know the truth of the relations. The happy couple at the bar might have fought all their way to the bar. The smooching couple might be filing for divorce. Iam not saying that thats how it is always. But we dont know the darker days of those relations. Its just that we see pics only of the happy times, hence we think that its the only truth about our friends. But every relation has some dark days.
b)we ignore our relation– when you start comparing and wanting to be like what we see on FB, we tend to overlook the uniqueness of our own relation. Every relation and every person has at least one great quality that is enough to steer your whole life.
Taking tips from Einstein, there is nothing wrong with how other people put up their life on the canvas of social media or in the stories they tell you. It just doesnt apply to you.
The most important thing to remember, is that you are at the point in your life or relation because you only are equipped to handle the ups and downs that come with it. Your strengths make your relation stronger. Your weakness are optimal to handle the consequences of the relation.
Your uniqueness, your hubby’s quirkiness and your childs’ challenges are all yours only. The day you realize and accept that the point at which you are standing is a result of all the permutations and combinations of all the various unique elements of your life, you will be at calm with your situation. You will no longer compare your relation or life with others because you will no longer have the need to.
I read a quote by Oscar Wilde somewhere that said ” Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken!”
So just remember that only you can handle your life best, thats why you are the hero of it!
When you keep reminding this to yourself, you will automatically achieve a sense of calm.
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